Day 7 Chemo 2.Wed. 08/16/2017 10:27PM “Let’s stretch for a bit our tolerance with the elderly.”

Day 7 Chemo 2.Wed. 08/16/2017 10:27PM

Such a long and tiring day for all of us. Probably not because of the many things to accomplish but the emotional and psychological side of it that seemed  incongruent with the day.

I woke up early at 6:00AM and got my son ready for school, so I could go to PSH (Perpetual Succour Hospital) for my repeat CBC (Complete Blood Count), visit my mom, my oncologist, my good friends in my previous clinic in PSH and be able to drive around my niece Sinead to the bank and do errands for me. Quite a hefty list of tasks but I did not mind at all. What of course exasperated me was the seemingly oblivious presence of my dad. He was with us the whole time in the car physically and much more the same too inside my mom’s hospital room yet you could never felt his ubiety.

I went home alone and had a few hours of rest then came back to the chores mode again ‘coz we need to get ready with my parent’s room. A plan to clean and organize their room in preparation of mommy's coming from the hospital. That at least she will be able to come home and enjoy a clean room, clean beddings and blankets and a clean comfort room. With the help of my nieces Sinead and Pauline, we were able to accomplish the unusual way of cleaning  the room, groping in the dark profusely since the entire community was laid bare in the dark moments of brownout. Again we never mind at all the sacrifice and toil we put up in darkness. It was the ludicrous comment of papa that shook us in disbelief of his coldheartedness.  

My dad came home at the instance when we were just about to be done. So in order to facilitate finishing our clean-up we asked him to take his supper first and rest at the living room for the time being until we get everything done in cleaning. Indeed, we got him to come over to his room thinking that he would be very glad for the clean up. To our surprise we were taken aback by his demeanor and raving: “Are you cleaning up the room so we could die now?” What a pernicious word? We were putting up for nothing, getting so tired and exhausted for nothing? I’m tired physically, financially, and emotionally and all I get is flaunting sarcasm from my dad. So insensitive!

I don’t know what’s going on with dad’s mind. We did all the clean-up for their messy room which my brother Alson called a junk yard, because we don’t want them to be sick of other illnesses like pneumonia, which is very common with the elderly and very common cause of death as well. My mom's sickness and my own sickness are difficult to sustain already and if he get sick too or mom would pick pneumonia because of unhygienic room then all the more we get into a rolling disaster. And for all the right reason even with draining finances I tried to secure a clean room for them and even added a new air-conditioning unit  to bring comfort to them.

We did not throw anything. All their stuffs were just temporarily placed outside their room to give us ample of space in cleaning as well as help us identify the stuff they need to put back inside and the rest that needed to be disposed.

A simple “Thank You” would have been fine for the three of us. Yet, there was none. Thus, I told my nieces: “Let’s stretch for a bit our tolerance with the elderly.” And upon mentioning this I sung the song: “I did my best, but I guess my best wasn’t good enough.” And my nieces were both laughing with me.

To add pain to injury, he did not even noticed the new wheel chair we had prepared for mom. God knows how good my intentions are. Hopefully in God’s time he will appreciate all my efforts and I will have the heartfelt gratitude from my Dad. All I did is support this family.

Jerome in his own way of pacifying me jokingly said: “Just let me be your dad this time. And I would say Thank You very much my dear daughter.” Not completely vying into it I still replied: “You are welcome Papa.” I guess in that little jest, it mended a minor emotional scratch.

And yeah, laughter is the best medicine. We need to picture things in the perspective that brings joy to us and not sadness. In the Chemo Unit today I had again shared the message of living a healthy lifestyle encouraging everyone to see me in my 100th birthday, which made people laugh. Over hearing the commotions and liking my presence in the chemo unit the staff commented: “Doki we are not tired of seeing you or attending to you.” Of course they meant of liking me as being the light and life to everyone around, but thinking of how expensive to be always in the chemotherapy and how painful to undergo with its after effects I retorted jokingly to them. “My gosh, darling you loved me to be around? Wow! I have 2 more chemo sessions left and that’s it. Let’s not meet in the chemo unit anymore. God forbid. OK?”  And we all laughed.