Day 16 Chemo 2. Fri. 08/25/2017 We Love Karen Group Chat - Overwhelming Miracle

Day 16 Chemo 2. Fri. 08/25/2017 11:15PM

A little surprise is amazing and a very big surprise is overwhelming. Such is the surprise I got from God today!!!

I was seeing my OB friends today to celebrate a belated birthday treat sponsored by them. And unbeknownst to me they were all in unison in handing a very special gift, a financial assistance for the healing journey I am undergoing of this Vitamin B17 deficiency or cancer. The gift was a joint contribution from my OB friends, my consultants, nurses, my residents, and my classmates from here in the Philippines and abroad. And the catalyst of it all was my very best friend in my 4 years of OB-Gyne residency training at PSH (Perpetual Succour Hospital), Dr. Roselyn “Bulak”  Cabahug-Yu. She was the one that made all these possible. During my 48th birthday, Aug 20, 2017, she created “We love Karen” Group chat on Facebook informing everyone through messenger, about my recent situation. The group chat had pulled together resonance from friends and associates who knew me, sending out with no hesitation financial help which collectively summed up the gift they handed me over on this birthday treat. It was overwhelming and yet “Bulak” said a lot of it is still coming.

Lord God Almighty thank you for your love. It's only You who can do this big "Miracle" for me. You had made my best friends Dr. Roselyn Yu and Dr. Cytesse Cambronero as your instruments in touching the hearts of the people who knew me and giving me this overwhelming support. I couldn’t ask for more.

This episode just proved once more the power of positive thinking and the virtue of believing, which helped me to be unsinkable despite all the trials I had been going through. Sonia Ricotti yet again helped me with her “Unsinkable Bounce Back System”.

Thank You Lord!!!

Day 15 Chemo 2. Thu. 08/24/2017 "Believing the Providence of God", I can afford it!!!

Day 15 Chemo 2. Thu. 08/24/2017 4:45PM

ISAIAH 49:15

"Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you."

The day I stood still even though
my crowning glory
surrendered to Chemotherapy

In the darkest moments of my life when trials were just too heavy to bear the only recourse I had was clinging unto my faith that despite feeling so alone in bearing the difficulties at least I knew the Lord will always be there, bringing joy instead of sadness, bringing me peace instead of worries. And yes, indeed He had me felt even more His presence with all the people remembering me and wholeheartedly sharing me in whatever way they can to help me cope up my expensive healing journey as well as the needs of the family.

Kate Alexis Borja Frias

The Lord had never left me alone. And this is what I forgot to mention in my yesterday’s journal that He had sent me again another manna from heaven. My niece “Kate Borja Frias” texted me that her mom “Elaine Acosta Borja” sent money through my BPI account. What a blessing indeed. Here’s an account of another patient's family of mine who had been so generous to me in return. I actually delivered Kate’s first born on March 2017 through caesarian which was also the day my husband and I got estranged with each other.

And so enough with the flashback, here’s the story of the day. Today, we just had 5 patients in my clinic. Maybe because, it rained the whole day  and patients were not in the mood to go out and go to the clinic for consultation or ultrasound or shall we say the Lord probably just decided to have me rest and recuperate my ailing  voice as well.

When I got home, I was greeted with the mess in the house that caught my attention right away. Things were all over the living room, dining area and kitchen. As I really could not bear the sight of having chaos all over the place, much more so that we are expecting visitors from the Timol and Dandan families in the evening, I geared myself into action, putting my things down and started tidying up.

A few minutes later while I was busy organizing things in the house, my mom arrived from her therapy session intended to regain her muscular movement from left motor paralysis. She didn’t look quite energetic as she must have drained herself from all the exertion in the therapy. Every after therapy she always gets so tired. Thus, I told her to relax and have a good rest. It was so fascinating to have her go right away in her room knowing that she will be comfortable in a tidy and air-conditioned room. Before she got discharged from the hospital, that was what preoccupied me, cleaning up her room and furnishing it with air-condition that would help my mom and papa to sleep comfortably.

Thank you Lord for all the blessings you afforded on us. Despite all the financial challenges, we were able get all these things done, putting up the air-conditioning for the room of mommy and papa and the installation of few room improvements. At least the elders were resting comfortably everyday.

Sonia Ricotti

And thank you once more Lord for your guidance, that even with the debacle in finances it never hindered me to believe in your providence as I always insisted that we can afford what we need. Just as Sonia Ricotti pointed out in her “Unsinkable Bounce Back System”  that all I have to say: “I can afford it!!!” And the magic kept on coming.

Karen with
Andrey Timol and
Keshia Benjiemin Dandan

And finally the visitors did arrive. I was so excited to see my niece, nephews and grandchildren whom I personally delivered. It’s been a while that, they had not visited us, thus we were all overjoyed seeing each other. Their visit was of course a consolation as they were eager to know more about  my breast cancer or shall we say in the new scientific parlance my Vitamin B17 deficiency and see my mom who they learned had the recent stroke that caused her left side to have a motor paralysis.

And we had a joyful  night and a wonderful get together. Thank you very much Lord for the joy of friendship and families.

Right before retiring I sent a photo to my guardian. This photo was about Zac and I.

Zac and the
Monk looking Karen

Bhudda with children

As I had lost already my crowning glory, he jokingly mentioned to have a pose with Zac, my little one that would somehow cast a semblance of the usual figurine Buddha with children. And so I asked Ate Sinead to take a photo. Here's the photo of Zac and the monk looking Karen, hi...hi...hi.

Thank you once more Lord for the delight and pride of the little one you brought into my life, my little Zac, who has been always the focal point of our unconditional love in the family, and who I look forward, to grow up as a man of character, living the values I shared and cared about. This had been outlined in the song that my guardian had written for me during my 48th birthday.

Day 14 Chemo 2. Sun. 08/23/2017 "Cooking my favorite ginataang kalabasa (squash)"

Day 14 Chemo 2. Sun. 08/23/2017 10:45PM

Not able to make my journal right away ‘coz I got busy scanning my facebook page. It’s been awhile that I didn’t pay attention to it.

Nothing to log that much today as the affairs of the day looked so meager to me. I just had my clinic leisurely done because there were only few patients that came over. At least it freed my mind to think ahead of a special event I was invited upon, the debut of Kim Tiu Vasquez, the daughter of Dr. Editha “BB” Tiu Vasquez.

Gearing on the thought of that birthday celebration I was intrigued of how my rented gown would fit on me perfectly.  Lull time like this makes perfect timing for final fitting. And that was exactly what I did going to Federova Fashion Boutique.

The glamour of fashion wouldn’t be complete without donning a new pair of sandals that would lift you up to the social circle of this debut. Ayala Department Store was the closest I could think of,  but unluckily I just couldn’t find the right size for the design I was looking for. Good enough, basic brand alternative like Alberto Shoes saved me the hassle of jumping around multiple stores just to find one pair.

After all those fashion concern, I went home thinking I would get pampered again with prepared meals by my brother Alson. To my dismay he couldn’t be found anywhere and I had to jump into the bandwagon of cooking. Without hesitation I pulled Ate Sinead to come with me to the flea market. Just as my steps were quick to find its way to the market so as my brain in deciding the menu I had to serve for the family. And the best I could think of where: “Squash in coconut milk" (Ginataang Kalabasa) with shrimps and "fried fresh ‘Tamarong’ fish” . Picking up all the ingredients needed, I also included ripe “lakatan” bananas for added desserts .

It has been a while that I haven’t done this kind of dish “squash in coconut milk”. I always prefer to have myself personally make the mixture of the coconut milk ‘coz I like it to go sticky and pure with milder concentration of water only. And voila, the whole thing came up yummy for everyone to enjoy and of course myself.

After dinner, I had a short talk only with my Guardian Angel. That was a break of the usual time range of our conversation, ‘coz I told him I needed to rest my voice and get my journal entry at once. Despite being early though, I still ended with an hour getting extended before scribbling on my journal because I had to go through my facebook of which I haven’t read and opened for quite sometime.

So now it’s 11:10PM, past my bedtime. Have to say goodnight and good rest for all of us. “NIGHT, NIGHT, NIGHT!!!”

Day 18 Chemo 2. Sat. 08/27/2017 "Feeling beautiful for the debut of Kim Tiu Vasquez"

Day 18 Chemo 2. Sat. 08/27/2017 10:39PM

It’s supposed to be day 18 from my chemotherapy 2 and health wise I should also be up and about just as I was so relaxed last previous chemotherapy. Probably the late sleep late at night may have taken a toll on me that made me so tired. This did not hinder me of course to still wake up early and participated the early 5AM mass at Lourdes Parish. But of course when body is weak it forced me to sit down in the middle of the mass while the rest are up for the liturgy. Imagine the thought of finishing a thing so quickly in order for you to run back and curl on your bed. That’s what I did after all, getting back to sleep.

Getting additional sleep was at least helpful enough to get back up for breakfast time. Although, the semi fine day start looked dimmed when I happened to see my niece, Ate Sinead exchanging a bit of harsh words with her father. A lady of her own right and knowing to stand already on her own, interference into the squabble between daughter and dad wasn’t warranted. So I kept my distance, but in all honesty, Ate Sinead could never be blamed why she acted like that. At times when one’s glass is full, it overflows. And that’s what happened with her getting frustrated and fed-up of her dad’s sarcastic ways of talking and  never changing ways of falling back and forth to his vices.

Lunch time came and it seemed everyone may have drained already their fumes of grievances or perhaps found a way to vent them in enjoying a sumptuous lunch of grilled pork. They say the door to a man’s heart is his stomach. Well, it might have some truth in it after all in this case, hi...hi..hi. The food of course was really delicious that we even invited my two secretaries, Gail and Rhea, to come and eat with us.

After the sumptuous lunch, we started our make-up session for the upcoming debut celebration of Kim Tiu Vasquez. The session turned out great. When magic touch of an artist could turn a simple canvass into glowing masterpiece, you will somehow feel elation. And that’s what Gail, Rhea and I felt, a glowing satisfaction and feeling beautiful. I love it all, that I even have to drive the three of us to the reception wearing my long gown and high heels. Can you imagine that? Hahaha.

We were all enjoying at the reception. Meeting along with old friends was a big factor of that enjoyment.It was nice seeing those old faces once again in a well adorned reception, exchanging splendid conversations over a lavished dinner. It was so much fun that I would have loved to stay foot longer but alas for me, I was a driver nonetheless for 2 secretaries too hi...hi. So, I ended leaving early and driving Gail and Rhea to their individual drop-off.

Day 13 Chemo 2. Sun. 08/22/2017 "Abundance of Blessings"

Day 13 Chemo 2. Sun. 08/22/2017 8:27PM

What a Wonderful Day!!!

Everyone was in the good mood, getting ready and fired up for whatever responsibilities we would be facing today. My sister-in-law Lea was ready for her lab exam, so as Sinead for her CBC (Complete Blood Count) as she would be accompanying her mom too. My brother Alson on the other hand, was very happy to tell me the good news that he finally convinced his wife Lea to take care of mom while recuperating in her mild stroke. It’s another extra expenditure for a nursing aide but somehow with Lea’s help, who had been my mom’s request to take care of her, the expense could somehow be disbursed within the family instead of allocating it to an outside individual. Which in turn could also help the family of Lea and my brother Alson. A win win strategy. Feeling jubilant of what he did, my brother Alson prepared my lunch with too much delight.

Thank you so much Lord!!! Everything seemed to be all lining up now. The stars in the sky are lining up.

In my clinic, again God gave us a lot of patients. But this time I wasn’t tired ‘coz I was able to have a good rest last night.

I went to the department store to buy new bed sheets, blankets, towels and curtains ‘coz after cleaning mom's room, I realized we won’t have enough replacements when they get soiled. At least with these new purchased linens there would be another set to use when washing would be needed. While I was at the counter paying all the stuffs, my phone rang, heralding another good news. It was Dr. Cytesse Cambronero on the other line who was so excited to tell me that there were lots of friends sending help for me. I was holding back my tears of joy, so as not to create a pandemic scene among the multitude of people lining behind me. Breathing deeply all I could say to her: “I love you so much.” I felt so loved and cared.

God I couldn’t ask for more but just say again and again. Thank You, Thank You and Thank You.

My other bestfriend Dr. Roselyn “Bulak” Yu , texted me late this afternoon, asking me if I still do go to work. Candidly I said: “Yes, until Aug. 29, Mon-Sat 10AM - 2PM.” She in turned retorted with utter disbelief: “WOW!!! Are you not tired?” My quick reply with jest and heartfelt gratitude was: “I can’t afford to get tired. God is so good to me, giving me tenacity to still be able to work despite all the trials. And your loving support and generous backing of our dear friends  made me strong each day. I love you so much Bulak. Thank you for your undying care for me. Thank you of course to all our OB friends and colleagues. Thank you to all of You Guys.”   

As what I have said, I couldn’t ask for more. God has been tremendously generous to me. He made me feel so loved and cared about.

THANK YOU GOD!!!

Day 12 Chemo 2. Sun. 08/21/2017 "A pleasant Surprise"

Day 12 Chemo 2. Sun. 08/21/2017 8:39PM

What a pleasant surprise waking up with my son sleeping in my right arm. My adopted daughter “Mommy Eunice”, (as what Zac, my son used to call her) carried discreetly Zac from the other room to my “After Chemo” isolation room and placed him in my arms snuggling in deep slumber. After being separated in sleep with my son for more than a month, it was a heart-warming scene  to behold.

Contemplation of pleasant surprises begets another one in succession. After taking my breakfast I headed to work as usual, thinking that it would be another relaxing day with a little less patients but God yet again poured forth a lot of blessings. We ended up having 21 patients to cater about. Thank you so much Lord. Another heart-warming abundance from on High.

When I arrived home, I tried to pray the rosary but heavy eyes got me to snooze off. Just happened to wake up when Ate Sinead made the call already for dinner. The spirited action of my birthday celebration yesterday including the late slumber and the abundant influx of patients from God today had ebbed my stamina that I used to have. So as human as I am, my body got exhausted as well.

But before signing off my today’s journal entry I forgot to mention yesterday that my previous secretary Ms. Jeanie Boncales Arollado came over on my birthday and cooked a very delicious pancit canton guisado and chicken cordon bleu. Thank you so much Jean. My son had lavishly eaten your delectable cuisine that he had a big burp after the meal, ha...ha..ha.

Good night for now. I need to rest on my exact sleeping time so I can regain back my strength.

Day 11 Chemo 2. Sun. 08/20/2017 10:30PM "My 48th Birthday"

Day 11 Chemo 2. Sun. 08/20/2017 10:30PM

My 48th Birthday

Woke up at 4AM with greetings from mommy Eunice and Zac. I asked my nieces and my mom, if they could accompany me to the church. Nobody could move because they were still very sleepy.  So it was only Eunice and myself who attended the 5AM mass.

I went home right away and got busy preparing for breakfast and for the birthday celebration. My Guardian Angel sent surprises in the form of a bouquet of flowers, chocolates and a personalized song called “Karen Is Her Name” written just for me.

The Lyrics of the Song: “Karen Is Her Name”

(Stanza 1)

D

The lady I knew before

A                       G         D - A

is still the same woman I behold

D

carrying the smile,

A              Em

love and beauty

G                                  A-A7-A

transcending way back when

(BRIDGE)

D

she was sweet 16.

A                              

Memories were written,

G                                                    D-A

Decades had stretched the years for more

D

yet same pretty one

A                               Em

Who’s gait remained so lovely

G                   A - A7 - A

As she turned 48.

(REFRAIN)

D                                      

And Karen is her name,

Em                         

trailed along with M,

        G                         A

for it's Morata family did she belong,

D         A

Lovely and beautiful,

 G                A

inspiring and virtuous

D                             G              A

yet deeply human in timeless age.

  D          A

Exemplary so splendid,

G                   A

beautiful and phenomenal,

G               D                 

virtuous, and deeply

 A                          D

human in timeless age.

(Stanza 2)

D

Relentless in her quest of life,

A         G                          D -       A

Even cancer, couldn't make her stop

D

Gazing with faith,

A                              Em

the splendour and beauty

G                       D      A-A7-A

of reaching that 100 years,

D

that before the sunset calls

A                     G                     D-A

she'll witness  her 1 and only baby

D

becoming a man

A                         Em

of strength and character

G                               A - A7 - A

living the values she lived and cared about.

(Stanza 3)

D

A pillar of the family,

A                G                       D -       A

A source of laughter in her circle of life

D

Provider that never ceased,

A                                     Em

Giving and always giving all

G                       D      A-A7-A

Without expecting in return,

D

Touching everyone’s lives

A                     G      D-A

Even the hearts of stones.

D

Outpouring all she has

A                         Em

A love of a friend

G                                      A - A7 - A

a sister, a daughter and a mom to all.

End of the Lyrics “Karen Is Her Name”.

WOW!!! Eunice and Zac and my nieces gave me a surprise in the form of bouquet of flowers, headset and a pair of sandals.

Everyone was so busy. While my nieces were hustling for kitchen stuff in the market, I was preoccupied with helping my mom to take a bath as she couldn’t move by herself without any aid due to the mild stroke she had in her left body.

Surprises seemed to be flooding in. Mama Letty came over during lunch and brought me a birthday cake. This was another surprise from the Noel’s family.

Weekend is supposed to be marked with freedom for kids and parents with academics, but not in the case of Zac. I was forced to assist and review him with his studies in Filipino Subject on Long Topics about Letters B, C, D, F, G which we couldn’t finish. The last topic was up to D only because we were crunched with time already. The stride dragged up to the evening of 6PM of which we were compelled to stop since we needed to prepare for the birthday celebration.

Everybody had a good time with the delicious food. As for me I had to be contented with my salad and the pair of crab claws. No rice at all with my meals I was ultimately behaving to reach the 100 years hi...hi..hi.