Day 12 Chemo 1. Mon. 07/31/2017 10:50PM "friends I had a lot of good memories"

Day 12 Chemo 1. Mon. 07/31/2017 10:50PM

Yesterday, Late night around 11pm we tried mixing watermelon & apple for juice. It was kind of tasty but it caused hyperacidity in my tummy 2 hours after. At around 1 AM, I woke up with hunger pains, so I drank SOYA milk which never failed to give relief immediately.

We were planning to concoct watermelon with mango or with banana or with papaya or with young coconut fruit. These are other alternative drinks that can be used for substitute.

At around 1:00 AM also, I had a call from the OB- ROD (OB/GYN Resident On Duty)  at SHH (Sacred Heart Hospital) that I had a patient who came in due to watery vaginal discharge  secondary to the rapture of the amniotic membrane or bag of water. Internal vaginal exam revealed that the cervix was 1cm dilated , assessing the condition I figured out that there was still ample of time to sleep until 5:00AM, So I decided to go back  to sleep for another hour. Upon waking up I drank another brand of SOYA milk and my gosh the taste was horrible but for the sake of good health, I consumed a glass of it but vowing to refrain from buying that brand again. Absolutely no way man for a second buy.

Going back to my admitted patient at SHH (Sacred Heart Hospital). The OB-ROD (OB/GYN Resident On Duty) called me again at around 7am informing me that the patient's cervix was 9cm dilated. That was a big surprise. With disbelief I uttered:: “What? from 1-2cm, now 9cm?” So I was in a hurry, praying that hopefully I would be there before the baby would be delivered. Thanks, that the patient didn’t know how to  bear down effectively. I was still able to reach the hospital before the baby was delivered, ‘coz it took me a while to reach the hospital since I was caught on the peak of a heavy traffic.

God always put order into everything. I was still able able to do my rounds at PSH (Perpetual Succour Hospital) to order discharge for my patient that I delivered yesterday. Then later came  back home to get my lunch and proceeded to my clinic. Good enough there were only few patients. So it was kind of relaxing compared to the morning rush in SHH(Sacred Heart Hospital). With the slack schedule in the afternoon I decided to have a little break. Called Dr. Melissa Dublin and Dr. Cristina Aban if they would be available for dinner. It was a quick invite to the two friends of mine who readily agreed.  

Adrenalin rush or whatever way you call that, I was just so excited, making me forget to inform my nieces that I won't be home for dinner. And of course, when things like this happens they would easily get worried thus, I got a call from Steffi asking where was I or whether I was ok or not. Being at fault of course on this occasion I had to say sorry to them, telling them that It all slipped my mind. I was touched by their concern. It was so sweet.

We had a delicious healthy meal. Had a very enjoyable conversation that we ended up hopping from one restaurant to another just to be able to continue. From the Japanese restaurant, we transferred to a Coffee Shop for dessert until the store was closed. Then as we were supposed to transfer again to another coffee shop, we realised it was pretty late at night. So, we all headed to the parking lot and decided to get in touched as often as we could. Now that I have this breast cancer jackpot, meeting up with friends is my source of joy, most especially with friends I had a lot of good memories, like Dr. Dublin and Dr. Aban who together with me, once a trio on a team when we were still starting our medical practice. We always had a good laugh then and up until now.

Day 11 Chemo 1. Sun. 07/30/2017 7:15 PM "To the rescue on 2 Senior Citizens at Jollibee"

Day 11 Chemo 1. Sun. 07/30/2017 7:15 PM

What a morning! While I was attending the 5:00 a.m. mass, I saw Mama Letecia Noel lining up to receive the holy communion. So after the final blessing, I went to sit with her and ask her if she would like to come with me going home? She said okay. Upon going out of the church, Mama Letty went to the holy water pond in the entrance of the church  and it was so sweet of her to let me touch the holy water from her fingers and we both made the sign of the cross.

She was walking slow and then said, "OH there's my sister" and she introduced me to Mama Remy whom I thought for Remedios but it's really for remegia. Mama letty is 81 and Mama Remy is 78. Wow what an inspiration for me to aspire more to reach 100 years  of age. Their secret again is going to mass everyday, pray a lot and eat fresh veggies and fruits. But this morning they both want to go to Jollibee. HAHAHA So, I drove the 2 senior citizens to Jollibee excited that we will be catered right away at the priority lane but to my surprise the priority lane was jumped packed with non-senior, non-disabled and not pregnant.  Waited for a while to be catered but none of them cared so i fought for my rights that they need to open another counter for my 2 senior citizens and call their manager to put order into our needs. SHIE(name) the Jollibee attendant opened the counter in front of me. Told her sorry coz I could see she was nervous that I repeated my very short order like 5 times but by the time the food came still something was missing that I have to pay additional.

We had a good conversation. They told me I have to pray  15 Our Father  and 15 Hail Mary's everyday for one year. For happiness to come true. I mixed their sphag while they're still eating  their burger steak. Their drink was iced tea w/o ice. HAHAHA. After they've eaten I teased them that it's gonna take us one year before we will reached the parking  lot. Drove mama remy to her house and mama letty.

Overjoyed serving the 2 senior citizens early morning. What  a way to start my Sunday morning.

After the breakfast got a call from OB resident on duty at PSH that my patient ATTY. Llewelyn Porta was admitted already thus I need to be ready to go to PSH. She was just sleeping the whole time she was in labor such a very beautiful delivery. I think she just pushed for like 3 times only and the baby is not small. The baby weighs 7 lbs 11 oz. LGA (Large for Gestational Age) Baby Girl. When I got out from the delivery room. The grandmother was so happy for the good outcome.

Such a beautiful day indeed.

Day 10 Chemo 1. Sat. 07/29/2017 5:20PM "To Live 100 Years backed with Unsinkable Bounce Back System and the Plant Programme"

Day 10 Chemo 1. Sat. 07/29/2017 5:20PM

Today I had a slight headache around 5:00AM. Following my Oncologist’s order to anticipate the pain instead of waiting for the pain to worsen, I took “paracetamol “and drank my Hazelnut Non-Dairy organic soya milk from “Healthy Options Store”,  Ayala Center, Cebu. Like what I normally do when pain starts to creep in I just let my body go to rest, thus I went back to sleep and ended waking up at 7:00AM. Pain had finally subsided and I was able to do my morning Meditation of the “Unsinkable Bounce Back System” of Sonia Ricotti. This is the meditation which always helped me feel more alive, more aware, peaceful, calm and alert. I always feel wonderful, and energized, ready to create and attract wonderful things in life. With all these sparkling energy I get more excited to follow through the recommended diet first thing in the morning in The Plant Programme of Jane Plant. And that is taking a fruit juice extract such as my watermelon juice combined with little organic honey. It’s a wonderful thing to start the day quenching my thirst as well as arming myself from radical effects of cancer and maybe prevent hair loss as well ha ha ha. With these my early morning is just full of positive aura.

Following all the morning rituals I got ready for work and received a call from Jerome asking for suggestions about the appropriate title of this journal and the website we will be creating.

The following were the suggestions he asked me to check upon.

Title for the Book:

1. Coping with Breast Cancer
2. Coping gracefully with Breast Cancer
3. Defying Breast Cancer
4. How to submit to Breast Cancer and come out inspired and victorious.
5. Faith that heals
6. 100Years Fan Club
7. How to live a life to reach 100 years of peace, joy, and love
8. Fighting Cancer to reach 100 years
9. Being unsinkable with Breast Cancer.
10. My journey to recovery.

Domain name suggestions:

1. www.100yearsfansclub.com
2. www.100yearsfansclub.org
3. www.ToLive100Years.com

My one and only suggestion which I haven't told him, because we were cut off from our conversation was, "My journey to Healing". And for the web domain name it would be based from his suggestion, "ToLive100Years.com". They all looked fine to me.

I was ready for work already around 9:00AM, but my lunch wasn’t ready yet. Having the luxury of someone preparing it for me, I was obliged to wait because, I just couldn't take any food not prepared by us. These are all the restrictions I have to undergo, avoidance at all cost of any unhealthy foods.

So funny to recall that when we were watching that movie, "Kita kita" almost everyone beside us we're bringing big boxes of popcorn and large sodas while all I had was pre boiled water in my red stainless water container. So darn cheap so to say but a lot healthier. For me it was alright, as long as I can live up to 100 years and see my son grow in my golden years and become a man of values. That’s absolutely phenomenal. And I am good with that.

Although I aim for this 100 years old at times I stumble to hold on to discipline on my diet especially the avoidance of non-dairy stuff which was a complete no, no for breast cancer patients as prescribed in Jane Plant’s  “Your Life in Your Hand” and Kristene Matheson’s “From Cancer to Wellness, the forgotten secrets”. Craving comes in disguise. Yesterday my niece Sinead was eating chocolate mousse cake from Red Ribbon. The tantalizing look of it was irresistible and  I ended up munching 2 small bites of it and jokingly  told her: “Ate Sinead maybe the cancer cell could not detect it yet. hahahaha.” . That’s the disguise that a patient like me should be concerned of.

Both Jane Plant And Kristene Matheson always emphasized non-dairy organic fresh raw veggies, fruits and turmeric, because turmeric will let cancer cells to commit suicide. I guess I have to start ramping up my turmeric intake.

It had been 10 days since my first chemotherapy, and so far there are no signs of falling hair. I am so excited to see if I get bald or not. Because according to the side effects of epirubicin and cyclophospamide both will cause hair loss. My onco said that once I start losing hair I better shave them off, so that when they grow back, they'll grow back at the same time. I don't mind the shaving, but I could not imagine if I could last the process, ‘coz I'm so ticklish. I might be giggling the whole time. Just the thought of it, gave me goosebumps already.

“God I'm not afraid of my chemo and was not a bit worried when I had my MRM, but shave my head to baldness? Gosh! I could not imagine it. I could not probably last the entire procedure. Maybe I need an IVTT diphenhydramine to make me sleep. Ha ha ha.”

Let us see if my watermelon juice will help me prevent baldness as what other cancer patients did and able to keep their hair strong against the strength of chemotherapy.  

I was even joking to Ate Sinead this morning that If Ever I will never lose my hair and they will ask me what's my secret. I will tell them:  “Get ready to be bald by cutting your hair really short and buying 10 pieces of bandana in advance. Hahaha.”

Day 9 Chemo 1. Fri. 07/28/2017 4:50PM "The watermelon Juice that gave me energy to deliver a birthday Message to a special Mom."

Day 9 Chemo 1. Fri. 07/28/2017 4:50PM

It's Mama Leticia Noel's birthday today. I was really able to wake up early at 5:00AM. Had my morning meditation right away. Took a bath. Woke up Ate Sinead, my partner with the  birthday surprise for Mama Letty.

The day of course would never be complete without having my first juice in the morning based on “The Plant Programme” of Jane Plant. Being a good patient I made my “Watermelon Juice” with “Organic Honey” on it and gulped 2 1/2 glasses of it. It’s quite amazing how I’ve been doing it. Yet, come to think, who else is going to drink what I am making anyway. So I'd rather drink them all ‘coz I might not be able to have breakfast anymore. Besides, it is one of the best source of Lycopene which is responsible for the beautiful red color of watermelon pulp at the same time a powerful antioxidant, known to protect cardiovascular system from free radical damage, known to protect your skin from UV damage that can lead to photo aging, wrinkles and skin cancer and also known to protect from different kinds of cancers. Cheers to those who have what I have and let’s drink it up with watermelon juice.

It was a good decision to guzzle down a large volume of the watermelon juice, because I was the only one who was not hungry while we were looking for a flower shop with the florist on duty in the early morning.

Thank God we found one at Banilad, which was frankly quite far already from home. Nevertheless, It was worth the trip and effort since the bunch of flowers we found was really beautiful indeed.

Jerome called while we were at the flower shop giving us additional instructions for the message he wanted us to convey on the card of the flowers. I was teary-eyed reading the message as if it was for me and as if it was my birthday. Simple as it may seemed to be yet so profound in meaning. It was the lyrics of the song M-O-T-H-E-R which was written by Theodore Morse and Howard Johnson. His dad when he was little  used to sing the song to his Mom every now and then of which the memories lingered long enough in his mind to make it his own for his Mom’s birthday. The note came this way:

Dearest Mama Letty, Happy Birthday.

May this simple note suffice to say how much I love you

M is for the Million things she gave me.

O means only that she’s growing old.

T is for the tears she shed to save me.

H is for her heart of purest gold.

E is for her eyes with love-light shining.

R means right and right she’ll always be.

Put them all together they spell Mother,

A word that means the world to me.

Love,

Jerome

I was so touched when I was reading the message. I couldn’t help but feel the emotion of a mother since I myself am a mother too. How sweet it is, if my son “Zac” will make a message like that for me. I just imagined how it feels like that even at his age at 6 he could be capable of doing so. What a great feeling would that be!!! My excitement just couldn’t be contained anymore and was so pumped up to give the flowers to Mama Letty.

Right after the scampering around for flower shops we took a quick breakfast at Jollibee. This time I broke a little of my dietary plan. Carbohydrates and red meat were not supposed to be in “The Plant Programme” of Jane Plant. I guess with all the excitement building up I seemed to forget that I am still under my chemotherapy treatment. “Ahh! Don't worry my Guardian Angel, I ate a little chicken only coupled with just 1/2 rice plus 2 thin pieces of fries to test whether my taste buds were all in full functioning condition. And yup, the appetite was back full-blown hahaha.”

With filled tummies and new energy from Jollibee breakfast, we rock in rolled towards Red Ribbon Bakeshop. Birthday with just the flowers may not be enough so we got Mama Letty a cake despite knowing that she won’t be able to eat anything like it anymore. It would not be the eating that we were after of course, but the essence of having her blow a candle and make a wish on it.

Finally around 9:30 a.m. we arrived at the Noel's residence. And there she was, the birthday celebrant relaxing on a rocking chair by the terrace.

They say that youngster as always are pretty quick to run and indeed, it was the little granddaughter of Mama Letty who got to us first and opened  the gate for us. Which in turned stunned my little boy who turned shy after seeing the little girl. Thus,instead of having him carry the bunch of flowers, I ended up carrying it myself and giving it to Mama Letty. We all then greeted her with birthday song.

While Mama Letty was caressing the bouquet I told her: “Mama Letty, the flowers are there to hold the beautiful note, which is the most important part despite being small.” Then I asked her if she would like me to read the message for her. With the smile she signalled me to do so.

I was still on the second line when she interrupted me and told me: “That's from Dodong Jerome, Isn’t it?.” My oh my, there are things that just cannot be denied and in my mind I uttered these words in silence to my Guardian Angel, Jerome: “She's really your mother Jer. She recognized right away that only her son Jerome could make such a beautiful message for her.” Tears flowed down on her cheeks while I was reading the message. I was so privileged to be the messenger, bringing those tears of joy and loudness like that of a marching band which broke the tranquility of the entire household. I was just so excited and full of life that I had successfully delivered the message. “Mission accomplished Jer.”

After all the drama and well wishes I still had enough time to drop my son to school, grabbed my preferred lunch from Ate Sinead, and had enough time to drive to work. It was so exhilarating for me knowing how much we had accomplished early this morning. A feeling of contentment and satisfaction. I was  just so overjoyed. Grabe! ha..ha..ha.

Day 8 Chemo 1. Thu. 07/27/2017 8:25PM "I don’t really consider my work as a job, ..it’s my happiness and joy fulfilling it with love."

Day 8 Chemo 1. Thu. 07/27/2017 8:25PM

Finally I was back to work again. Missing something that you really like the most and getting back to it after being curtailed against your own volition is always a relief, that’s how I missed my job. Although I don’t really consider my work as a job, since being a doctor it’s my happiness and joy fulfilling it with love. It’s always been my pleasure to serve my patients. Nevertheless, the same work which serve best my patient, serve best myself as well. It’s very therapeutic for me. Every Time problem would struck me down and hurt so bad, all the more I crave to work. It propelled me to focus more on my patients rather than succumb and be vulnerable to sadness and melancholy of the problem. Somehow being intimately absorbed into my work, the day would just fly by so fast easing away any pain or heartache quickly. And thus healing me in the process as well.

God always has his ways of ordering things. Today just marked the day He did something great again. The clinic wasn’t that busy giving me a little breather as I came back for the second day after a week of complete rest from my 1st Chemotherapy. And perhaps, He had my strength reserved to deliver a new life. Just around  3:00PM we performed a c-section with one of our patients, whose bag of water ruptured prematurely.

The amniotic fluid was noted to be thickly medium stained. So we instructed the resident doctor on duty to monitor the tracings of the fetal heartbeat closely. As it showed non-reassuring fetal heart tone with baby's head still not coming out we did the best we could to perform stat C-section to avoid meconium aspiration on the baby.

Meconium aspiration syndrome (MAS) also known as neonatal aspiration of meconium is a medical condition affecting newborn infants. It occurs when meconium is present in their lungs during or before delivery. Meconium is the first stool of an infant, composed of materials ingested during the time the infant spends in the uterus.

Meconium is normally stored in the infant's intestines until after birth, but sometimes (often in response to fetal distress and hypoxia) it is expelled into the amniotic fluid prior to birth, or during labor. If the baby then inhales the contaminated fluid, respiratory problems may occur.

Thank you again Lord for putting everything in order.

After work and after that c-section I was able to go home before 6 p.m. and thus able to relax for a bit until dinner. Later, I had a short conversation with Jerome who got me excited for his plan on his mom's 81st birthday tomorrow. Being far away from his mom (as he stays in Canada while Mom is in the Philippines) he could not deliver a bouquet of flowers to her, so he asked me for a little favor if I could do so for him. I felt so honored to be the messenger of my Guardian Angel and be a part of the special day of Mama Letty(his mom). I was so enthused then, that I had to let him get off the messenger conversation we had, so I could plan out the activities right away. The exciting news came to a halt abruptly as there were no more open flower shops to pick for a bouquet. But of course nothing could hinder me to do something significant so I decided to sleep early and be able to get up around 5 a.m. At least by waking up early I will have a well spaced time for my morning meditation, shower, and preparation of Zac for school. And hopefully be in the flower shop at 7a.m.

We will see! Good luck to me and Ate Sinead because I will let her accompany me. So better be on bed now. Good night! God bless!

Day 7 Chemo 1. Wed. 07/26/2017 7:42PM "The best part of my day today was the movie 'Kita Kita'"

Day 7 Chemo 1. Wed. 07/26/2017 7:42PM

God thank you so much for such a nice day today. I woke up with good health, able to drive my son to school, had breakfast at PSH (Perpetual Succour Hospital) canteen. Had a fast easy blood extraction for my repeat CBC (Complete Blood Count) and had a good conversation with my Onco. She gave me an assurance that I won't feel more or worst side effects as the more sessions of Chemo will occur.

With the positive assurance in mind and feeling really healthy my niece Sinead and I continued to while around. We had a big bowl of fresh salad for lunch and a pair of new dresses to pride with. Since I had my MRM (Modified Radical Mastectomy) I’ve been wanting dresses with sleeves so I could conceal the scar near my armpit. It was badly needed so to say. And counting that there are 6 days in a week that I need to go to clinic the demand to have more of these dresses with sleeves was mounting. I needed to acquire more.

The best part of my day today was the movie "Kita Kita" (“I see you”) starred by Alessandra de Rossi and Empoy Marquez that we watched. Such a nice funny movie with full of hearts. I mean a lot of values on it. Although we had been laughing a lot throughout the movie we still came out teary eyed. We couldn’t but help pity on the friendship or love story which was about to bloom, yet ended  up because the guy who was the center of comedy died in a tragic accident. He got hit by a car in his attempt to rush knowing the blind girl he's trying to court regained eyesight and could finally see him. The flashback of how he got this blind girl was very touching. He knew the lady before she got blind but wasn’t noticed by her since the lady was madly in love to her fiancee who was actually cheating on her. The comedian who knew her without her knowledge was actually the man who was cheering her up during the lowest moment of her life when she discovered her fiancee was cheating on her.

One of the funny side of the story was that the comedian wasn’t good looking while the blind girl was tall, slim and beautiful. This gets heightened during the process of friendship and courtship ‘coz just by the look of the comedian’s face you would burst already into laughter much more when he utters something, something that wasn’t correct. Everyone were laughing with their hearts out. My niece and I had a great time watching the movie.

With a nice movie, a good dinner and feeling so healthy all throughout the day what could I complain?  “I’d say, What a day!!!” My guardian angel commented that I was like a horse that got out from its stall. It’s just about right perhaps, hi...hi...hi. Same with my niece she was the one that complained of getting tired after all the walking and climbing of stairs in our pastime. God was so good to give me full of energy. “Thank you Lord!!!”

Day 6 Chemo 1. Tue. 07/25/2017 12:45PM "Write anything what your heart says.."

Day 6 Chemo 1. Tue. 07/25/2017 12:45PM

I had a good sleep but woke up with a slight headache. Got a slight throbbing pain in my tummy so I drank my non-dairy soya milk again.

Had a short talk with my Guardian Angel about my brother’s gargantuan complaints on my Father’s messy stuffs most especially the disorganized way of planting vines that eats away the beauty of the surroundings as well as cause rotting in the house of which my brother ends up cleaning every single day.

It’s been like 3 days already that I had to wake up with my brother’s effusive disdain towards our father’s chaotic settings of his things. Such explosive show came out for the fact that most of the time he’s the one putting order and cleanliness around the house. And the mess he just couldn’t take anymore. Dad on the other hand being old and quite cranky as well did not mind after all Alson’s effort. Being the owner of his own house somehow made him invulnerable to anyone and that he could just do anything he likes with it.

Talking of coincidence. God always finds way of creating His incidence. I wanted to talk to my brother without being compulsive or mandatory in handling old people’s habit and God ushered a way for me. While I was having my breakfast, my brother just passed by and we had a nice conversation giving me the chance to talk to him to possibly accept with patience our father’s behaviour. And that being old sometimes they still long to feel they are capable of doing things and we just need to give him (our father) the chance to enjoy it and yet assist him instead to make it better.

Just few minutes later after my talk with Alson, my father came and asked me if he could borrow money to pay taxes. I of course nodded on his request but took the opportunity of telling him about my brother’s concern in all the mess in the household and if they could only talk nicely without the cursing and swearing. In a sweet tone of voice I tried to pacify my dad telling him: “Papa, I think if all these arguments, complaints and cursing will thrive furiously in our house I might not die with cancer but from severe frustrations that I failed to achieve of bringing harmony in our so called ‘Home.’ I’m really trying to make a home for all of us.”

I once told Jerome that if the London bridge is falling down, Morata’s residence is falling down too. I have all these medical expenses, plus expenses for house repairs on top of all the daily expenses. The demands are crucial much more that I am gated to earn as much as I can ‘coz I’ve been on and off in my clinic due to my own medical issues about my health. When it rains it pours literally inside our house since the roofs are leaking. Again God works in the most mysterious ways pouring in manna from heaven to help me out with my predicament.

What I enjoyed this morning was when I was reading through the edited KM Journal. My living Guardian Angel “Noel Jerome Noel” is so amazing on his writing, editing, journalling or script writing, whatever is the right terminology. I was smiling and laughing the whole time I went through it.

“Jer you are so gifted on this thing. Writing is not really my thing.” These were the words I told him when he asked me to write about my cancer healing journey. I tried to exempt myself from writing anything. Yet, he kind of pushed me in doing so even though I told him: “You can let me sing, dance and act but I don’t wanna write.” But with a candid response he just smiled and said: “Write anything what your heart says and I will take care of the rest.” And he did a fantastic job to make it nice to read or may I say pleasurable to read doing it like a pro.

I used to tease him: “I will make you the president of my fans club, my manager, director or scriptwriter ‘coz I’m a frustrated entertainer but now I think I will volunteer as President of his Fans club ‘coz he is so amazing in his writing skills.”

Now I am lost in words and thoughts. I just wanna say; “Ohh! Wow, you Jer! Beautiful, perfect and phenomenal”.